Guys, I’m back to climbing ! I never thought in a million years I would say that one day, but I really am back to it. I can’t even explain how dope this feeling is. The best part of it all ? I am loving it like I never did before.
I first fell in love with climbing when I was seven. Even before that, my sister and I would climb everywhere at home and we would hide on the corridor’s ceiling so our parents couldn’t find us. They would look for us everywhere, it was just so funny. Anyways, I fell in love with climbing very early and started competing very soon after that. Immediately, I was told I would be a Champion. I didn’t really care back then, but when I started to take comps seriously, my biggest dream was to become World Champion. It just became THE goal. First years of competing was all fun. I had friends with whom I shared my passion for competitions, my parents would take my sister and I all across the country to express ourselves through climbing, and we were good at it. In my early « career » I won it all. There were not much competition I wouldn’t be on the top of the podium and I was feeling so good about everything. It was lit. I had so much fun competing, I had great friends, we would laugh so loud and create some amazing memories together… It was such an epic time of my life !
The more I was growing up, the more serious things got. In youth B category, I did my entrance in the National team. I was so proud to go after my sister who got in the team two years before me. I don’t really know how to express it but it felt just right. I felt like this was where I was supposed to be. My sister and I always had climbing together and she gave me so much strength, tips and passion for what I was doing. So it felt legit to follow her steps into a more intense game – the Climbing French Team. First year of international competitions was very intimidating to me. I never properly trained before so the training camps with the team were new and hard on me but I kinda loved it. I made new friends and we were all in this together, living it as fun stuff, at least at first. For my second year on the team, still was in youth B, I joined a training center as an intern, again, just as my sister did right before me. She got amazing results and became so much stronger with a proper trainer and proper training schedule. I wasn’t fully happy with my first year of international season so I wanted to get into a real deal, you know. My progression was seriously insane when I think about it just now. I handled at least 4 training per week when I just did 2 before that. Not to mentioned I had real training sesh, with a trainer and partners to play with ! We made it to a new whole level and I loved it just as much, or even better since I could express myself a lot more in climbing. Thanks to my lifestyle based on my « career » and my amazing trainer, I kind of mastered my second year in the international circuit, being second at the youth world championship in Valence and doing some podiums in european youth cups. I was so psyched it felt like I was living a dream. I was so proud to make everybody proud around me. So happy to share my passion with my loved ones even though my family didn’t really get it, they were so happy to see me being successful.
But then, I must say everything started to crumble. I was taking this whole thing way too seriously. I guess I just hadn’t a very balanced life. I mean I basically lived for competition. All my friends were related to that world and the only thing I couldn’t wait for was to feel this adrenaline running through my body during a comp. But there was that one year I realized everything has changed. Fake people replaced real friendships and a my demon side was taking the best of me. As soon as I realized how unhealthy this whole situation was, I decided to back off and think about it. I had to choose between continuing to be the person I was becoming or make it right. I don’t think I was a bad person at all but I definitely made some bad choices. I mean I’ve always been a little bitchy, which I don’t really mind. I think that’s fun sometimes. But this me was a bad bitch, haha, and I was suffering deep inside about what I was making people and myself going through.
One of the things that made me go crazy was probably the fact that people were judging me so harsh without even knowing me. I mean guys from 14 to 19, every single thing I was doing was commented, distorted and sometimes invented. I sure gave you some topics to gossip about but come on … I think people just expected me to be a lot more like my sister, and we honestly couldn’t be more different. She was loved by everyone and I came after her with my rebel/bitchy attitude so yeah, I guess people didn’t expected me to be that different. We both have a shitty character but she’s more of an angel and I’m the demon. That’s who we are. There’s no better than the other. We’re just different. I just enjoy to have fun and I don’t really think about what it looks like from the outside when I do something, I just do it with passion and I kinda leave my brain away. So I don’t really think about the consequences of my actions. That’s probably what’s harmed me the most. It was really hard on me sometimes but I didn’t want to give up for random people’s gossips. But I think, not being accepted for who I was is one of the reasons I went a little crazy so I kind of worked on it. Now that I’m 22 I don’t give a shit of what people think and I’m embracing my flaws just as much as everything else that make me who I am.
It took me awhile to make the decision to quit the competition game because I really really loved it. It could definitely bring out the best of me, but also the worst, as I explained before. So yeah, it was kind of a hard decision. I was aware I needed to build a whole new life, new friends, new goals… out of nothing. Climbing was the only thing I knew, the only thing I though I was good at and successful at. So when I quitted, I was completely lost, I didn’t fucking know what I would become or where I had to start … But my priority was to feel good about myself and trainings were no longer something I did with passion but I actually kind of feel forced.
I am so happy and glad I fell in love with climbing again. It’s been three years now since I’ve stopped. I sure did miss it but I didn’t really know if I missed it for the good reasons. That’s why I didn’t come back to it earlier. I really wanted to make sure I was coming back for the good reasons. I didn’t want to come back and quit again a few months later. Now I know. I’m pretty sure I never felt that passionate before. I’m currently climbing in Annecy with my sister and one of my best friends Andrea. We’re now friends with an amazing crew of badass climbers, which is so stimulating and exciting to climb with :-) I’m just doing boulder for now but I’m definitely looking forward to do some lead climbing soon cause I feel like that’s what I’m made for, hehe. I’ve always been better at routes but I must admit … I’m pretty scared, haha. My endurance is close to zero right now. I feel like it’s gonna be so damn hard to get it back ! But I’m so psyched to kick my ass again with some training sesh. Yaaaas !